Christ Cathedral

Old Testament - Zechariah 9:9-12
Psalm 145:8-15
New Testament - Romans 7:21-8:6
Gospel - Matthew 11:16-19, 25-30

"I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate."

How many times have you driven down a well-worn county road? Growing up in rural Oklahoma, much of my early driving was on the sort of county roads that had ruts so deep they functioned much like a primitive autopilot feature on my truck. As long as I kept my foot on the gas and didn’t want to change direction, I could more or less go from one section line to the next, scarcely touching the steering wheel.

The trouble was that after a good rain, the well-worn ruts became much less attractive. What had a few days before been the only smooth track on the road was transformed by a bit of water into the muddiest, least attractive rut in the county. It was the same road with the same ruts, but something had changed the world, and the ruts were no longer as attractive as they used to be.

Unfortunately, if you have ever driven down a dirt road after a good rain, you know that staying out of the ruts is almost impossible. Years of driving have created those ruts, and staying out of them requires a great deal of effort and constant attention. In today’s epistle reading, the Apostle Paul describes a similar experience at the spiritual level as he tries to avoid the ruts, not in a road, but in his own behavior.

"I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.... But in fact it is no longer I that do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells within me, that is, in my flesh. I can will what is right, but I cannot do it. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I that do it, but sin that dwells within me."

This passage makes it sound like Paul is watching himself from the outside. He’s trying to figure out why he does the things that he does. Like a road after a good rain, Paul’s experience of Jesus has changed his world, but he is having a hard time living into this new world. He wants to follow Jesus, he wants to be kind and generous and serve the good of others, but in spite of this sincere desire to do good, he catches himself in the trap of selfish and sinful behavior. This is all very confusing. He knows the right thing to do, and he wants to do it. Then, suddenly he finds himself doing the same old things he had always done.

On the surface, this phenomenon is rather puzzling, but Paul is not alone in his plight. I have the same problem. For the last 10 years or so, I have been going to another priest for confession from time to time. And the truth is that at each new confession, I can just about hit play on the tape from the last time. The circumstances of my particular sinful acts change, but the general pattern is pretty much the same.

In fact, the same could be said for each of us. This kind of wanting the good and doing bad anyway are part of human nature. If you are greedy, chances are you are greedy about a lot of things. If you eat too much or drink too much, you probably overindulge on a pretty regular basis. On the whole, the sinful patterns of behavior in our lives are like a well-worn county road where most of the time it is very easy just to drive in the ruts.

This tendency was quite vexing to Paul. How can it be that the world has changed so much for us and we still do the same things? God has forgiven our sins, he has made us new creatures in baptism, and yet we still find ourselves committing the same old sins. The answer that Paul gives to this puzzle is that sin somehow lives inside of our very bodies.

Our lives are a bit like the experience of a car driving down a county road. Imagine that the road is the body, and the car is the will and spirit that guide the actions. The trouble is not the desire to do good, but the connection between the road and the car. The kind of car you drive doesn’t change the ruts. It is as if sinful behavior wears grooves in our very being, and no matter how much we desire to do the right thing, it’s hard to overcome years of bad practice.

The trouble is that driving in a rut wasn’t fun for Paul, and it isn’t fun for anyone else either. But this trouble is not just a personal problem. We all have our individual ruts, but it is possible for nations and even congregations to get in a rut. In today’s gospel we hear how the religious people of Jesus’ day were desperate for a change. More than anything, the average Jew of the first century was looking for a messiah. The popular religious literature of Jesus’ time is filled with talk about a messiah. But when the messiah shows up, it sounds very much like they are unable to move in a new direction:

"To what will I compare this generation? It is like children sitting in the marketplaces and calling to one another, ’We played the flute for you, and you did not dance; we wailed, and you did not mourn.’ For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, ’He has a demon;’ the Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, ’Look, a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!’"

So the trouble remains. Whether we are talking about an individual or a group, it is very easy to drive in the rut. And as long as we stick with the easy and well-worn paths of life, either as individuals or as a congregation, we will not be very satisfied. So, I’d like us all to consider two questions: First, what would you like to change about your life and about this church? Second, where are the ruts that keep these things from changing?

These are not easy questions, but they are essential questions for us to answer. The reason is that the world has changed and the old way of doing things is not terribly satisfying anymore. In our personal lives, the experience of salvation has planted the seed of discontent in our sinful behaviors. As Christians, it is hard to be completely happy with ourselves until we learn to put aside the old ego-driven desires that guide our actions. It is impossible for us as Christians to truly be happy until we overcome the habitual physical and emotional states that lead to any number of things against our better judgment.

But as we see in today’s Gospel, the trouble of being in a rut goes beyond the individual. Just as the religious climate of Jesus’ day looked for a messiah and missed it, churches can look for a new era of ministry and miss it as well. The world is changing around us, and as a church we must change in order to fulfill the primary mission of the church to make disciples of Jesus and grow the kingdom of God in our neighborhood.

As a congregation, we have a tremendous number of assets. When I arrived here a year ago, there was a palpable sense of eagerness to find a new kind of mission for this Cathedral. People met to discuss the future. There was a lot of talk about change, and what we needed to do to reach out to this community. But to be honest, I have a sense that we are not making as many disciples as we could be. But until we identify the habitual patterns of behavior that keep us from changing course, until we decide that the old way of doing things is not leading to anything new or exciting, the changes that we would like to see - growth in members, growth in mission, growth in ministry - will only be a source of frustration.

I have no doubt that whatever we do, God’s spirit will continue to move us down the road of life. And through the action of the Holy Spirit, I believe that this congregation truly desires good things. When I was interviewing for this job, I was very moved by hopes that you shared with me: hopes for more vibrant ministries, an eagerness to know the Bible, and yearning for more meaningful Christian practice.

But old habits are hard to change and the new opportunities for spiritual growth at the Cathedral have not been widely embraced. We offer morning prayer Monday - Friday at 8 a.m., but most days only the staff attend. We have adult education for all ages on Wednesdays, but after the initial excitement, attendance began to decline. Without a personal commitment to the practice of our faith, and without a genuine effort to learn more about God, the easy and well-worn paths will remain the road most traveled.

For my own part, I am learning to be a better priest to this congregation. I now realize that meetings are important. I’ve made my sermons shorter, and I try to explain more things before I start on them. Whatever may happen in the years to come, it is critical for us to work together with trust and honesty and openness, even when we disagree, as we move toward the goals that God has written on our hearts.

A year ago I believed that God had essentially given us the keys to a new car and now we are sitting in the driver’s seat. But I also know that it will finally be up to us to decide whether to take up the challenge of going in a new direction or if we will simply do what is easy and drive in the ruts.